Name – Cristal
Brewer – Quilmes
Classification – Lager
Strength – 4.9% ABV
Verdict - At A Glance
On the eye – Lager. I simply can't bring myself to expand further.
On the nose – Some sweet buttery notes. They had me all excited – before I knew better.
On the tongue – Not applicable. That's really all there is to it.
On the subject – The Quilmes brand is quite simply the giant of Argentinian beer.
On the market – Selected UK outlets. Got mine from the food hall at London's Selfridges.
On the whole – 4.5/10
Otherwise known as H2O, it is a key ingredient of every beer on the planet.
Today's featured beer, however, is something of a remarkable exception to this universal rule.
This miraculous brew happens to be the only beer known to humanity to consist entirely of water alone.
At least, water was pretty much the only ingredient that I could detect.
This peculiar quirk in its nature probably also explains its enormous popularity worldwide – as there has always been great demand for beers which waste no time making appeals to the tongue, and which prefer instead to focus only on getting themselves quickly down the consumers proverbial necks.
As a South American drink, Argentinian to be precise, it is reasonable to assume that 'thirst quenching' is what this beer is called on to achieve most often. This is probably something that this beer is very good at.
It's really not terribly good at anything else.
The label is quite groovy.
That's about all I can think to add on the positive side.
In fact, having grown quickly immune to this drink experience, I took the liberty of offering a swig to my very open-minded girlfriend. She took a long sip, then paused for some considerable time before eventually saying – “It's almost like it never existed.”
There's just no way I could ever improve upon that.
Argentina – and even the Quilmes brewery itself – is producing some very excellent beers right now.
In my honest opinion, this really is not one of them.