Day 69, Beer 69 - Brew Dog's "5 A.M. Saint"

Today's Beer





Name – 5 A.M. Saint

Brewer – Brew Dog

Classification – Amber Ale (I steadfastly refuse to write 'Iconoclastic Amber Ale' as the label would have me do. But then, there's a lot about this label that I choose to disregard. I have to, otherwise I'd never be able to drink it. Read on...)

Strength – 5 % ABV


Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Brooding, deepest walnut. Very handsome.

On the nose – Monumentally zingy hops. This is Citrus-Kong! Bonus wafts of pepper and spices. Utterly unique.

On the tongue – Complexity and nuance are both off the grid. Top end heavy, but deliciously so. Very special.

On the subject - As Scotland's largest independent brewery, Brew Dog have scampered along very impressively since their arrival on the market in 2007. Loved, loathed, but seldom ignored. But then, it's hard to ignore a dog that never stops barking.

On the market – The cult of Brew Dog has yet to reach it's goal of global domination. Will it ever? Well, maintaining such a diligently manipulated public image could become tedious to them, but failing that - global domination looks pretty likely. This bottle came from The Real Ale Store.

On the whole - 9/10


Full Review

I don't like Brew Dog.

The list of reasons is too lengthy for a single posting, but let me give you an example.

On the label of this beer bottle, Brew Dog have written "The UK beer scene is sick. We are the cure."

An earlier version - as displayed on their own promotional website - was phrased "The UK beer scene is sick. We are the fucking doctor."

Setting aside the earlier version (with it's revolutionary use of naughty language) - what you have here is the distilled essence of what this brewery's marketing strategy is all about.

Brash, boastful, brattish, and supposedly cool.

They're like that kid back in school who thought he was popular just because he was louder and ruder than everyone else. The kid who grew up to run his own car clamping firm, or sell expensive industrial vacuum cleaners to elderly widows.

Oh, how we all look back and regret not punching that kid square in the jaw! Why did we all smile along with this idiot for so long?

That's the Brew Dog public relations ethos. They've applied time, money and effort into making themselves 'be' the most irritating child in your class, the one who nobody ever dared to tell to 'shut up.'

Quite honestly, my eight year old son has a far greater flair for PR.

But then, eight year old kids are precisely who this beer is aimed at, as is made clear by the child-sized bottles it's sold in. (This is not a problem unique to this brewery, because like always, those who are scared tend to follow the bully...)

The chief reason why this particular label-quotation makes me resent the brewery with such unbridled enthusiasm, is because (aside from being massively cheesy) it is just plain old incorrect.

Having spent the last three months sampling bottle after bottle of beers from all across this country, I can say with absolute certainty that the 'UK beer scene' (the reductive phrase these guys use to describe the 'UK beer industry') is not nearly 'sick' as they claim, but is actually in the most excellent health - possibly better than ever before in it's long and illustrious history.

The only 'sickness' at work here is in the shape of a relatively new business deciding to drop it's trousers, crouch down and empty it's bowels upon every other firm in the sector - purely in order to make a splash, if you'll excuse the phrase.

Snore, snore, snore.

Good luck with that car clamping business.

The reality is that my eight year old son would instinctively know that taking the 'screw you - but love me' approach to marketing only works on the gullible, the timid, or those who actively enjoy being treated with disrespect.

This leaves every other drinker in the marketplace without a Brew Dog beer in his hand, because he will never buy products which tell him what a clown he is for doing so. (The rest of the label essentially tells the drinker what an ignoramus he probably is.)

Anyway, when it comes to the corporate image of this brewery, I think you get the idea.

But what of the important bit?

What about the beer they produce?

Incidentally, that really is the important bit - though it's not at all clear whether Brew Dog actually realise this, such is the emphasis on the aforementioned public image.

The other question, of course, was how the hell I would react if it transpired that their beer was actually pretty decent? I'd potentially be forced into a very tricky corner.

Imagine then, how unequivocally mortified I was rendered when - mere moments into the taste test of 5 A.M Saint - I became horribly and acutely aware that I was in the presence of one of the most sublime fluids I've ever encountered.

Actually, I think my very first though was - "The bastards!"

This beer is astonishingly delicious, and - in complete contrast to all the swagger and posturing of the branding - it is also exquisitely delicate, elegant and refined. It actually tastes 'friendly'. I could almost feel the beer apologising for the unruly behaviour of it's own label.

But, my goodness, how many ways did I enjoy this ale. And for how many varied reasons.

Newly-ripened grapefruit, spiced apple, fresh ginger, black pepper - all wonderfully distinct and vital, having been blended and crafted with the most distinguished skill and precision.

The supremely gifted craftspeople who work this palpable magic in the brewhouse are surely not the very same individuals who toss around lunatic marketing concepts like paper planes over in the office.

If they are the same - it would lend serious weight to the notion that even a genius is never good at everything.

The harsh reality is that Brew Dog's ultra-rubbish PR approach needs to be set aside - because this beer needs everyone, and I do mean everyone, to look beyond the branding and discover a brew of rarefied excellence. It is truly gorgeous, and it really has no business being sent-up and compromised by the irritating comedy exploits of an amoral vacuum cleaner salesman.

Like I said, I don't like Brew Dog.

Until their playground media mentality evolves, I'll always have trouble buying their products.

But there's very little point in pretending otherwise - I absolutely love their beer.

Day 68, Beer 68 - St Austell's "Tribute"

Today's Beer






Name – Tribute

Brewer – St Austell

Classification – English pale ale.

Strength – 4.2% ABV


Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Light amber with a deep, ghostly tinge of rust.

On the nose – Punchy citrus. Subtle, but sumptuous malts.

On the tongue – Floral, zesty and refreshing. A very different drink to the Tribute I thought I knew. Read on...

On the subject - A massive presence in Cornwall, with a huge list of pubs under their control, the St Austell brand is by no means a purely 'local' affair. The brand is an increasingly national one these days.

On the market – Ubiquitous. By far the best known of the St Austell range. If you prefer not to leave the house - the brewery has a decent online shop.

On the whole - 8/10


Full Review

When I first discovered this beer - some three years ago - I fell entirely under it's spell after just a few sips, before going on to bore my beer loving friends half to death with endless reminiscences of the experience.

I've sampled many different types of ale since then (not least over these last few months!) and I was curious as to whether Tribute would have retained that mind-blowing early appeal.

Well, it transpires that the fascinating outcome of this return to an old favourite has two very distinct dimensions to it.

Firstly, the beer really has remained a very excellent and enjoyable English ale. But secondly - and much more intriguingly - is that this is not the excellent and enjoyable beer which I remember.

It - or much more likely my relationship with it - has evolved. This, to me, is a very fine - but very different - drink experience.

The Tribute I had been storing in my memory banks had a richly malty principle flavour theme with a complex citrus finish. But the Tribute that I've just rediscovered had a complex citrus principle flavour theme with a richly malty finish.

Pretty much the same characteristics, then - but all happening exactly the opposite way round.

I don't mind admitting that this total reversal of my initial response to the very same beer was both alarming and bewildering.

Had they tinkered with the recipe, or some aspect the brewing process, or had The Bottled Beer Year been tinkering with my own capacity to interact and properly 'read' an ale?

Or did I just catch Tribute in different 'mood'? If I've discovered anything about beer over the years, it is that lovingly crafted ales do often vary slightly in taste, texture and overall impact - and I've long-since referred to these variations as changes of mood.

The truth is, I'm sure I could never be certain what was behind this unexpected twist in Tribute's tale, but it's worth pointing out that, whatever the cause, the result was a drink which was now potentially even more delightful than ever before.

The floral, faintly grapefruit, faintly peach character of the high notes - though initially pretty wrong-footing to me this time around - are deliciously balanced and cleverly understated, and I could feel the brew leaning ever so slightly toward 'golden ale' status in a way that, again, I had never previously perceived.

What prevents it becoming a golden ale ('prevents' in the most pleasing sense, I should add) is the gradual spread of the most delicious malts, which counter the hop sharpness with gentle swathes of cookie dough and crusty granary loaves.

It's very impressive stuff.

Setting aside the apparent metamorphosis of this ale (in my experience, at least) there is little doubt that this is a very lovely beer indeed - one that any brewery in the land would be extremely proud of.

'Tribute' is perfect name for an ale which bestows so much honour upon it's maker.

Consequently, St Austell have simply given this beer the only name they could have.

Day 67, Beer 67 - Everards "Tiger"

Today's Beer





Name – Tiger

Brewer – Everards

Classification – Best Bitter

Strength – 4.5% ABV


Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Orange meets amber and they fall in love. This beer is their first-born child.

On the nose – Planet Malt!

On the tongue – A sweet, zesty delight. Packed with traditional bitter character.

On the subject – The third and final of Everards bottled offerings to be sampled here on The Year. All in all, I think the best word to reach for is 'impressive'.

On the market – This beer is Everards' best seller. Considering the in-house competition - that's a very impressive fact. Found everywhere from supermarkets down in the UK. The brewery do have an online store.

On the whole - 8/10


Full Review

Sometimes, when malt dominates the flavour of a beer, it can do so with the most glorious conviction.

In the case of Everards Tiger, we have a malt which displays that very same 'glorious conviction', but which also steadfastly refuses to dominate what is the most delectable hop presence that any bitter could possibly wish for.

The result of this epic conjunction of flavour elements is a beer which almost redefines the word 'balance' within the context of beer production and appraisal.

The malts and the hops found in this ale - when taken as separate entities - are performing at the very highest level imaginable, and this makes for the most intensely enjoyable 'tug of war' contest between the two. Despite the beer's name, there's nothing overly fierce at work here - either in the oaty, ginger biscuit malts or the citrus, faintly peach hops. But a battle between the factions does rage, nonetheless.

The irony though, is that whilst this tussle constitutes the major appeal of this brew - it is also something of an Achilles Heel. I reckon the beer might well benefit from a slightly emboldened 'middle ground' in the flavour department, something to thread together these two mighty taste extremes.

To be honest, though, I'm on pretty flimsy ground here.

In fact, I'm very much splitting hairs, and goodness knows that after my recent exposure to the two other bottled beers in the Everards range - and the effusive praise which resulted from those samplings - it's possible that I'm feeling somewhat inclined to 'get tough' on this company and work extra hard to find something that might qualify as a failing.

The grim reality, though, could merely be that Everards are just very, very adept at making beer, and I'm merely the latest ale drinker to become aware this simple fact.

Tiger, much like the wonderful 'Beacon' and the majestic 'Original', is a very fine tradition ale which - try as I might - I find myself with little option but to thoroughly and whole-heartedly recommend.

Their bottled beer portfolio may be relatively limited for a company of such renown, but few companies in Britain have a roster of ales to match the relentless quality of the Everards range.

Of that they should be extremely proud.

Day 66, Beer 66 - St Peter's "Organic Ale"

Today's Beer







Name – Organic Ale

Brewer – St Peter's

Classification – Well, how can I put this?... It's an Organic Ale.

Strength – 4.5% ABV


Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Elegant, understated straw. 'Eau natural.'

On the nose – Deep, rich fruit cake. Delightful.

On the tongue – Fresh, zesty and smooth, with a sharp, full-on bitterness.

On the subject – Suffolk based St Peter's combine a traditional ethos with a willingness to try something a little contemporary or quirky. They marry all these concepts pretty nicely with this beer.

On the market – Not the most widely available label of the range, but with the St Peter's brand becoming more ubiquitous by the second - the options are always growing. Those options are everywhere from supermarkets, specialist stores and online. Try the brewery's own web shop.

On the whole - 7/10


Full Review

In the modern world of rampant consumerism, an ultimate definition for the word 'organic' can prove pretty tricky to agree on.

Aside from the issue of what the word actually means, there's the even hazier issue of what it implies.

For me at least, the sight of the word 'organic' implies freshness, authenticity, a distinct absence of extraneous chemicals and processes, and a distinct presence of overriding moral and ethical ideals.

Much of that sounds very lovely, but what 'organic' tells me almost nothing about - is the taste, type, and character of a beer. As a consequence, I tend to find the word a little bewildering and uninspiring when I see it written on any bottle's label.

However, it turns out that I've been getting my priorities in a muddle - because having sampled St Peter's 'Organic Ale' I was very swiftly reminded that 'freshness', 'authenticity' and 'a distinct absence of extraneous chemicals and processes' - when assembled together as a code of brewing practice - are pretty much guaranteed to result in the most marvellous of ales.

Ales like this one.

(You may have noticed that I omitted to mention any similar revelations regarding the other supposed benefit of 'organic' produce - the moral/ethical ingredient - but then I sense it's better to leave all of you hopelessly decent individuals to judge that aspect of 'organic' produce for yourselves.)

Just for the record, I'm not being flippant here. This beer really does feel fresh, it does feel authentic, it absolutely does feel unmolested by undesirable man-made potions, and in some small way (to lend some small credence to the issue of morality) it did leave me with an odd sense that I was 'doing the right thing.'

In spite of all this, though, I did find myself wondering what a claim of 'organic' status had required this beer to go without. This was chiefly because however fresh, authentic, or ethically sound the drink experience was - I couldn't help thinking that the brew could have done with a little extra 'something' to really allow it to fulfil it's vast potential.

But what did I think that missing 'something' was?

Was it a touch more of that delicious biscuit sweetness to help balance those magnificent grapefruit/peach hops?

I doubt it - it felt extremely well judged by the end.

Was it a need of a fraction more from those roasted nuts to better complement the delicately zesty hops?

Equally unlikely, for similar reasons.

Was the salty sharpness in the finish allowed too much room to dominate the lingering floral theme?

Not on your nelly! That was probably the highlight of the whole thing.

What was it then?

Well, finally, as I sank the last of the liquid from the glass (mournfully, I should add) I think I managed to work it out.

When a beer is so unrelentingly 'correct' in every sense - it crosses a line and becomes everything a beer should never be.

Saintly, straight-laced, prim and proper, conscientious - and perhaps even just a little bit sober.

In short - I think this ale could do with a dark side to really ignite it and bring it alive.

It needn't even be too dark, I'm really not talking about 'evil'. The merest of mischievous grins would be more than enough. Just something to remind us that, underneath all that glowing exterior of high standards and respectability - it's still just a little bit naughty.

Beer just doesn't feel quite right when it's trying to be angelic. It always needs at least a hint of the devil inside it. Otherwise it's just an extremely pleasant alcoholic soft drink.

Remarkable freshness and a fully-functioning moral compass are all very well, but I think I'd be just a little disappointed if all beers tried this hard to be this well behaved.

That said - this particular angel is welcome to keep watch over me for as long as it damn well pleases.

Amen.

Day 66, Beer 66 - Otley's "Darko"

Today's Beer





Name – Darko

Brewer – Otley

Classification – There's no way I'm just going to write 'Stout' without urging you to read on...

Strength – 4.1% ABV


Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – One of the many enigmatic features of this remarkable beer. It looks 'unique'. Let's just leave it at that for now.

On the nose – Intensely sharp treacle, liquorice, with a screeching high note of sweetness.

On the tongue – Again, a short summary is simply not going to happen with this brew. Read on...

On the subject – Over in Wales, Otley are on a mission. Quite where they are heading, they are happy to keep us guessing, and a level of mystique certainly adds to their appeal. The beers they make are every bit as striking as their branding. This being the perfect example.

On the market – 'Mystique' and 'rarity' fit nicely together. That's unfortunate for most beer lovers nationwide who are forced to go online or to go 'specialist' to find Otley brews. There's no better specialists than the brewery's own online shop.

On the whole – 8/10


Full Review

Okay, so, this one is way off the grid.

From the moment the pour first begins, the beer announces itself as 'something completely different'. Not in the Monty Python sense of the phrase - but quite wonderfully near to the Salvador Dali sense.

In fact, I really like the idea of this being officially classified as a 'surrealist ale.'

The liquid is like no other. It's consistency, viscosity, it's oxygenation and the intensity and the radiancy of it's colouring - none of these individual elements display any of the usual characteristics or behaviours found in most other beers in existence...whether they be stouts, milds, dark ales or even traditional bocks for that matter. This brew is obeying none of the rules of classification.

Otley clearly have developed a healthy disregard for conformity or conventionality. It's almost as though they sat down, chose a beer style, and then proceeded to do only what they darn well pleased, focussing only on the quality of the end product and tossing aside preconceived notions of what they 'should' be trying to achieve.

I kind of like that spirit.

But do I like this drink?

Well, this is one of those beers that really makes you ask yourself that very question. It's a question which most drinks provide an answer to long before you find yourself needing to formally pose it, but there's just too much to bedazzle and mystify you in this particular bottle. Although, having said that, the state of pleasant bewilderment in which this ale eventually leaves you is almost reason enough to enthusiastically endorse it, regardless of all the unanswered questions that it leaves you with.

Questions like - 'doesn't this need just a little more gas?' and 'is this really meant to be so delicately bodied?' - soon enter your head, but that's before they begin fading into the background whilst you increasingly relax and start to really savour this experience which, little-by-little, begins to comprehensively enthral and delight you.

I think this beer is actually intrinsically rebellious, and I was quickly charmed by it's nonchalant determination to go it's own way, do it's own thing, and be it's own beer.

In essence, this is naked ale. Avant-garde, no-nonsense, authentic, ultra-traditional, retro, post-modern - all of these phrases and none of them sum up what's going on here. But at the core of it all is a sense that the brew is exactly as nature intended beer to be, and it feels under no pressure to bow to the contemporary operating model. Instead, it delivers itself in a manner which evokes the feel of the smokiest of Victorian ale houses, it's unembellished freshness resonates with the sense of having just been gravity-poured by the cheerful but feisty landlady via an oak cask laid atop the overly varnished, ash-smeared bar.

It's a history lesson and a revolution all in one. It has an extremely distinguished flavour - freshly picked cocoa beans and natural liquorice with a Ruby Port sweetness in the finish - characteristics you might well expect from a good stout. But, somehow, at the same time it also feels like an entirely new ale variety, with a humble and unfussy charm which both startles and delights.

One way or another, this beer demands your attention. From the off - it proceeds to challenge and to pretty much redefine the nature, scope and boundaries of modern beer production.

You think you know what beer is, and then a drink like this turns up.

If only for educational purposes, you need to find a bottle of this - and drink it.

I sense that this is a very important ale.

Day 65, Beer 65 - Windsor & Eton's "Conqueror"

Today's Beer






Name – Conqueror

Brewer – Windsor & Eton

Classification – Black IPA

Strength – 5.0% ABV



Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Vivid, hypnotic black.

On the nose – Spices, herbs, wild-grasses and faint liquorice. Remarkable.

On the tongue – Smoky cocoa with an exotic, perhaps even eccentric twist.

On the subject – These Windsor & Eton chaps have managed to create the sense that they've been around for ages. That's partly due to the branding, but it's mostly due to the highly refined feel of their products. The reality is that they're actually one of the youngest breweries around, having only come into existence in 2010.

On the market – Not yet hugely stocked nationwide in the UK, but beer like this won't retain 'boutique' status for too much longer - however hard it tries. Try online at Beer Merchants.

On the whole – 7.5/10



Full Review

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

It is no coincidence that this beer has been named 'Conqueror', because that is precisely what it intends to do to your taste buds - and it's not going to hang around for their permission.

This is a magnificently brutal drink experience which left me so very pleasantly invaded that I began to see entirely new justifications for global domination.

This beer makes war make sense.

And 'war' is pretty much what this ale is all about. A shrinking violet it most certainly is not. It bombards the mouth with smoke and spice, and offers only black treacle and double espresso as relief from the savagely delicious onslaught.

It is hugely enjoyable, and it's combative nature should in no way dissuade pacifists from partaking in a jar or two. Everyone should be encouraged to face this beast.

For those who demand a certain bullishness from their ales - those who frown upon beers lacking in substance, character or 'fight' - they will find a worthy ally in this brew.

Liquorice, treacle toffee, wild grasses, cooking apples, gooseberry - all pitch in with pugnacious exuberance, and it makes for a melee of the most distinguished kind.

Too much for some?

Well, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if a small number of newcomers to Planet Ale found this a bit too savage for their evolving palates.

But for the rest of us - particularly those of us who like to wrestle with the mightiest of delicious brews - there's all kinds of bloodthirsty fun to be had with this very impressive beer.


.

Day 64, Beer 64 - Worthington's "Red Shield"

Today's Beer






Name – Red Shield

Brewer – Worthington's

Classification – Burton Blond Ale

Strength – 4.2% ABV



Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – In hair-salon terms, this is 'strawberry' blond.

On the nose – An all fronts attack from malt and hops. A far darker aroma than the beer's appearance would suggest.

On the tongue – Soft, elegant citrus and floral tones hover above a well pitched malt base. Highly refined.

On the subject – The Worthington's name - rejuvenated over recent years courtesy of the now legendary 'White Shield' is part if the Molson Coors stable these days. One benefit of having big corporate parents is that you get shiny new toys to play with, such as the purpose built 'William Worthington's Brewery' - a recently constructed state-of-the-art facility.

On the market – Not at all common. Specialist outlets only for this one. Try online at Beer Here.

On the whole – 8/10



Full Review

Above and beyond the more rudimentary effects of alcohol - some beers really do mess with your head.

This is one of those beers.

From the word 'go', it point blank refuses to conform to any normal standards of characterisation, classification, or type. Drinking it could therefore be a pretty frustrating experience (especially for someone attempting to write a review about it) but the reality is that this ale is just far too pleasant to leave anyone with any lasting, troublesome concerns.

But what are we really dealing with here?

It's not a golden ale - it's too smooth and balanced. It's not a bitter, a pale or even an amber ale - the colouring is too unique and the zest of all those tree fruits is just too poised, nuanced and refined. So, the claim of 'blond' status is probably the best hole for this pigeon, but I'm not entirely sure that it does this drink proper justice.

There's a sense of reserved excellence - perhaps even chic - to this brew. It doesn't force itself upon the mouth (though I was more than happy to force it upon my own mouth) but it chooses instead to win the hearts and minds of your taste buds, taking things at whatever leisurely pace is required to properly achieve this.

It has a modest elegance, an understated nobility, and a potential for thirst slaying which is nothing short of scary.

Floral?... Yes.

Aromatic?... Certainly.

But there is a very skilfully judged malt base to this beer, which keeps it's overall appeal broad, and it's character vivid.

To be clear - Worthington's don't actually claim that this is a blond ale.

They claim that it's a 'Burton' blond ale.

So perhaps - as can so often be the case - it is the hallowed turf of this small area of central England which makes the difference.

And what a huge difference that is.

Day 63, Beer 63 - Badger's "First Gold"

Today's Beer

Name - First Gold

Brewer - Badger

Classification - Traditional, 'country' ale

Strength - 4% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye - Copper sunset. Lovely.

On the nose - Smoked fruits. High toned hops.

On the tongue - Simultaneously traditional and unique. Wonderfully nutty, with some extraordinary use of hops.

On the subject - Badger have an almost unrivalled bottled beer presence in the UK. For such an elusive creature to have been chosen to represent them seems a little inappropriate these days!

On the market - Everywhere. Seriously.

On the whole - 8.5/10

Full Review

This is a very sophisticated drink.

There's a breadth of flavour themes surging through every mouthful, which both bedazzles and soothes to extreme effect.

It's distinctive, too. Without being eccentric or overly experimental, Badger have concocted a beer which I'm certain I would be able to identify with no trouble at all in a blind tasting. It really does have a character all to it's own.

It's an odd mix of super-traditional and utterly unique. I'm sure that's an entirely illogical statement, but it identifies this ale all the same. It's richly nutty, satin/velvet in the body, and is possessive of around seven separate floral and citrus 'twangs' in the rapidly arriving finish.

Midway through the glass, I became convinced that it was the hops that were chiefly responsible for the uniqueness of the taste, and at that very moment (most unusually for a Bottled Beer Year taste test) I reached for the bottle's label, which dutifully informed me that 'First Gold' is actually the name of the low-growing dwarf hops which are solely used in the brewing of this beer. For a brew to be named after the hops which it contains reveals quite a lot about their acknowledged influence.

I'm sure there's much more to this ale's fabulous flavour than just well selected hops, which cannot possibly take the credit for that deliciously firm consistency, or for that fiendishly fulsome nutty base - but they really do add the most wonderfully ethereal bitterness to the mix, a bitterness which sets about delighting the mouth quite relentlessly from the very start.

I quickly grew to adore this beer.

Frankly, I defy anyone not to.