Day 158, Beer 158 - Titanic's "Plum Porter"

Today's Beer

Name – Plum Porter

Brewer – Titanic

Classification – Porter. With plums. Naturally.

Strength – 4.9% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Rosewood tinged translucent black. Alarmingly attractive.

On the nose – A certain tree fruit dominates the aromas. You'll never guess which.

On the tongue – A novel, but by no means a 'novelty' beer. Rich, fruity, beautifully engineered and impossible to drink without smiling. (See below.)

On the subject – Sinking sea vessels aside, it's taken me far too long to get around to Titanic. Appropriately, this Stoke-based brewery has an increasingly 'big' reputation among ale aficionados (beer geeks), and although it may not the most ubiquitous brand on a national level, it's certainly among the fastest growing.

On the market – You might not find this particular beer in supermarkets, but many of Titanic's core beers are popping up more and more frequently these days. Otherwise, try a specialist retailer to sample some of their more avant-garde products such as today's. I got this one from Newark's Real Ale Store.

On the whole – 8/10

Full Review

Rarely has the first sip of a beer produced such a wide and enduring smile.

I should quickly add that around fifty percent of that grin was induced by a profound sense of relief, as I'd fully convinced myself there was little or no chance of me genuinely enjoying this brew.

That prior fear, based on years of crushing disappointment, is a sensation I experience whenever I crack the lid on a drink which claims to be an established beer style (a porter, in today's case) that has been somehow 'enhanced' with use of an extra, supposedly 'bonus' ingredient. In these days of evermore feverish innovation this additional item could be anything from chocolate or ginger, vanilla, horseradish, caramelised church bench, or the ground bones of the head-brewer's former boss.

(Those latter two may be fictional at the time of writing, but it's surely now only a matter of months...)

Plum, then, could actually be regarded as a reassuringly conservative choice, and in many ways its easy to imagine why the rich, deep roasted character of a stout or porter might benefit from the sweet, tangy sharpness of any number of dark skinned tree or hedge fruits.

My problem is that these 'special' beers can all too often wind up tasting like the kind of tinned confectionery we only ever receive from that elderly lady across the street at Christmas.

Basically, they have a tendency to taste exactly like what the breweries will never admit they actually are. Public relations tools. Firms feel obligated to churn these 'creations' out every once in a while to remind the world that their businesses are populated by warm blooded human beings as well as dispassionate machines, and to remind their rivals that they can be every bit as innovative (bonkers) as they can. It can often feel like companies brew the occasional quirky beer purely to demonstrate that they can, not because they particularly should.

Personally, I don't drink beers in order to marvel that they're possible, I usually just drink them because they're nice.

However, very occasionally, these brewery muscle-flexing sessions will result in something which is not only ground breaking, unique and hugely painstaking to achieve (blah blah blah), but which also happens to be genuinely delicious.

Mercifully, Plum Porter is very much among these beautiful anomalies.

Sumptuous swirling suggestions of liquorice, smoked bacon, cocoa, fresh picked herbs and soft spice – all very much in the porter tradition – combine wonderfully with the guest star of the show, the unmistakable presence of that ultra-juicy, perfectly ripened plum, which imposes itself determinedly upon the overall flavour without ever overstepping that fine line and heading off toward brutal domination. It does get close to that line at times, but if anything that adds a welcome 'tension' to the experience which might otherwise be perfectly pleasant but much less dynamic. There's also a lovely little cameo performance from rhubarb which, in my estimation at least, comes dangerously close to stealing the show at various stages during a full glass.

The body has substance, but there's also an agreeable lightness to it, making the instinct to pour an immediate second glass pretty darned compelling, and the complex aromas have that 'please let me have just one more sniff' quality which is all but guaranteed to earn you a police caution.

There's little doubt that this an extremely successful foray into the potentially hazardous realms of recipe experimentation, and I really needn't have wasted any time at all worrying about it.

Sometimes, 'funking' a beer up can prove to be nothing less than a typo.

With this though, Titanic have brewed a very classy porter and given it a distinctive edge with restrained use of creative ingenuity.

In truth, I image that's what all breweries are really aiming for whenever they have a go at a 'special'.

Few ever get it as right as this.

Day 124, Beer 124 - St. Peter's "Honey Porter"

Today's Beer

Name – Honey Porter

Brewer – St. Peter's

Classification – Porter (Or 'honey porter', if you want to get all fussy about it)

Strength – 4.5% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – The devil's red. Dark, ominous, and a bit sexy.

On the nose – Rich caramel, abundant honey and rampant cocoa. Quite something.

On the tongue – Fudge, licorice, dark berries, cinnamon. Huge levels of cocoa bitterness, huge levels of honey sweetness, and even greater amounts of puzzled head scratching. (Read on...)

On the subject – I'm finally coming towards the end of my St. Peter's batch, and it's been a fascinating journey. They pretty much brew everything, often doing so twice what with the many organic alternatives. The range really is enormous, and with the brewery's emphasis being very much on their bottled output, that sense of 'specialism' really does find it's way into the glass.

On the market – St. Peter's beers are ubiquitous these days, this particular one may be a little more tricky to find, but worry not, as the brewery has it's own online store.

On the whole – ?/10 (Look, I honestly don't know... You'd better read on...)

Full Review

My poor head.

I was shaking it, scratching it, very nearly bashing it against walls – and all of this from the very first sip of today's beer.

Even now (and quite uniquely for this project) I simply do not know what I think about it.

As hard as it may be to believe, and as much as it may sound like a lazy cop-out, I am literally unable to decide whether I even like this beer or not.

It's a strange and rather alarming situation to be in.

One thing is for sure, though. Drinking this beer is not a dull experience.

Not one little bit.

This ale is so mind-bendingly extraordinary that I'd say it needs it's very own website, with entire sections dedicated to each of its abundant features, facets, and characteristics. One review could never hope to dig close enough to the core of this beer.

But long before I could work out what was going on within the beer, I failed to work out what I felt about it.

I kept asking myself the same question – whether the experience of drinking it was an enjoyable one or not – but my opinion was forever lurching for one extreme reaction to another.

“Delicious!”

“Disturbing.”

“It's so endlessly complex!”

“It's too much.”

“This is leaping straight into the top ten without a shadow of a doubt!”

“I can't drink it.”

“Yummy!”

“Yucky.”

“Awesome!”

“Meh.”

At the halfway stage, I knew I had a real dilemma on my hands. I had a beer that I liked and disliked equally and simultaneously – which I had to sit down and write a coherent review about.

However, for this dilemma alone, the beer deserves some serious credit. Because to be so abundantly packed with so many thought-provoking features makes for an enjoyable event in itself – even if you do eventually wind up never answering even the most fundamental questions, like whether you actually enjoyed the stuff or not.

To properly describe this drink is a real challenge. And, believe me, it's a challenge that I'm not about to overcome in any great style, so don't go getting yourself all excited.

I'm going to try to describe it – but I'm also going to fail in that attempt. So, you have been warned, and here goes.

It's an Irish coffee. It's an ancient, multi-purpose herbal remedy. It's a rich, creamy, but also rather austere chocolate gateaux. It's a warm oven filled with dark berries and winter spices. It's an abandoned beehive in sack of fresh coffee beans. It's perfumed charcoal fruitcake. It's a cauldron of molten candy and tarmacadam.

It's conjoined twins, each with split personalities. It's a tortured genius. A role model and a rogue. 

It's an unending, unnerving, unsolvable mystery to me.

I think what I really should be saying - is that this is one of those beers which you just need to try for yourself.

You might fall in love with it, and that love might last forever. Or you could argue like hell with it and never see it again. But either way, this beer will make an impact on you, and you will not forget it in a hurry.

Few beers have ever left me so bewildered about my own reaction to them. Few beers have forced me think about them so intensely, and for so long.

It's been an odd pleasure, drinking this one. It will be interesting to visit it again some time, and go through this peculiar process all over again.

Maybe not for a while though.

I mean, it's going to be several weeks before I can even think straight after this ride.

As for a score out ten?

Wow...

One?

Ten?

Something in between?

They all sound just about right.

In the interests of continuity, let's call it a 'tentative 7/10' and be done with it.

Day 120, Beer 120 - Meantime's "London Porter"

Today's Beer

Name – London Porter

Brewer – Meantime

Classification – Porter  (Stop sniggering! What else could I put?)

Strength – 6.5% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Darkest brown meets darkest pink on an utterly blind date.

On the nose – Sumptuous, yet understated dark berries, ruby port and licorice.

On the tongue – A delightfully fruity, smoky, and generally wonderful 'authentic' porter.

On the subject – Meantime are on the march. They've recently hired a new CEO in the shape of Nick Miller, a former managing director for global players SABMiller. This move can safely be interpreted as a statement of intent. Expect growth. Lots of.

On the market – Pretty decent national availability, and set to increase rapidly for the above reason. Online options include Cave Direct.

On the whole – 8.5/10

Full Review

Delicious.

I've yet to begin a review in that way, and for various reasons I had intended never to do so.

Chief among those reasons is the fact that – as opening lines go – it's fairly rubbish. But having tried for a good while to talk myself out of it, the reality is that writing the word delicious was the most representative way of summing up how I felt.

I mean, being delicious is what this beer does, so why not say so?

Smoky, smooth, packed with dark berries and soft spices, this is a marvel of a dark beer experience. Further flavours include delicate high citrus notes, black treacle and soft cinnamon – and it's all held together by a remarkably elegant cocoa/licorice central theme.

I did panic during the pour after realising that this 75cl giant comes bottle-conditioned. Anyone can tell you that these beers need to be poured in 'one smooth action', but few glasses in my collection have quite the space for a full wine bottle sized portion.

Simple mathematics therefore dictate that no amount of careful pouring is going to prevent the inevitable 'disturbance' of this sediment, and I was fully expecting to awaken yet another 'yeast beast'.

But then I remembered that this was a Meantime beer. Of all the companies currently bottle-conditioning their ales, this London company are right up there with the very best in terms of execution. Their equally-enormous 'IPA' has already demonstrated this to me in considerable style.

Any sediment in these bottles is fine and powdery, it's in very modest amounts, and it consequently remains largely unseen and unproblematic. All the yeast succeeds in doing is adding to the 'condition' of the beer (exactly as required) without ever upstaging the drink experience. I was able to sit both of these large bottles back down and re-pour with no noticeable ill-effects. Try doing that with most other bottle-conditioned beers on the market!

(Actually, please don't try doing that. If only for the beer's sake.)

Meantime can do no wrong in my eyes. Today's beer is merely another beautifully brewed, beautifully presented product on their hugely impressive list.

Rather oddly, this drink kept bringing to mind the traditional Tuscan aperitif 'char-grilled cherry bread' which, as far as I'm aware – doesn't actually exist.

This beer made me wish it did exist, because I suspect it would be pretty damn delicious.

Yeah, that's right, you heard me...

'Delicious.'

Day 34, Beer 34 - Anchor's "Porter"

Today's Beer

Name – Anchor Porter

Brewer – Well... Anchor, naturally.

Classification – Oh, now come on!

Strength – 5.6% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Even an MRI scan would reveal only black.

On the nose – Dark berries and brandy-soaked liquorice.

On the tongue – Peppery cocoa and spiced treacle. A subtle but lingering butterscotch finish.

On the subject – One of the USA's craft-brew major league players. And how this drink deftly explains this!

On the market – Ubiquitous US presence. UK and Europe buyers need to search harder and that's a pity. Got this at Selfridges (in store only.)

On the whole – 8.5/10

Full Review

Depth and anchors have a great deal in common.

Naturally.

But there is a point at which this common ground becomes stretched beyond capacity. Any seafarer will tell you that certain depths lie below of the reach of any anchor known to man.

This claim, however, is false. Because a certain brewery in San Francisco has comprehensively re-written that very maritime rule, with truly startling results.

There is no depth which this beer does not reach.

At play within this beer, there is deepness of flavour and of texture which is so unfathomable – that it simply astounds. It is a rich, creamy, bitter-sweet assault on the mouth, and it has been crafted with textbook precision to simultaneously soothe, excite and satisfy.

I've often marvelled at why anyone would ever choose a porter or a stout (for the difference between these two see here) in place of a dark premium or strong ale.

This little US gem is the explanation I have long awaited.

Perhaps my new source of bemusement should be – why would anyone follow a cool winter stroll with a black coffee, a chunk or two of dark chocolate and a brandy, when they could round it off infinitely better with a single jar of this exquisite brew?

Answers on a postcard please....