Day 28, Beer 28 - Skinner's "Keel Over"

Today's Beer

Name - Keel Over

Brewery - Skinner's

Classification - Amber Ale

Strength - 4.2% ABV



Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye - A certain type of soft drink (Read on...)

On the nose - Dark treacle-laced malts. Powerful stuff!

On the tongue - High citrus hops. Not as well balanced as the label info claims. They did name it 'Keel Over'... which hardly suggests good balance!

On the market - Beer Ritz sent this one along. Local outlets abound.

On the whole - 6/10



Full Review


Orange squash.

Or is it orange 'cordial'?

Whetever the current fashionable industry name for a diluted orange fruit drink is, this beer is the grown up version of it.

So much so, that I reckon it really ought to be made by 'Robinsons' and be sat in large refridgerators beside the Centre Court at Wimbledon. Though, what impact that would have on the Federer backhand is a debatable point.

For those who enjoy orange cordial - I strongly recommend this very faithful adult rendition of your cherished tipple.

For me, though, I reckon I would need to go a few sets with that same Mr Federer before I'd instinctively reach for this brew. In such curcumstances, I've little doubt that this beer would prove to be extremely refreshing. But in most other scenarios, I'd find it a very 'quirky' choice to opt for, and possibly just a quirk too far.

That being said, the drink certainly has character, and in a world of mass produced bland beers - every little helps. But I would be cautious of using this drink as a means of inticing any blandness lovers of the world to take an initial step into the world of taste, because if anything - there's possibly just a little too much character for the uninitiated to handle!

I would place this beer on my 'only under certain circumstances' list. And unless my tennis skills develop very rapidly any time soon - those circumstances may never quite arise.

Day 27, Beer 27 - Dent Brewery's "Aviator Ale"

Today's Beer

Name – Aviator

Brewer – Dent Brewery

Classification – Amber Ale

Strength – 4% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Warm, deep orange. Tempting to behold.

On the nose – Creamed raisins and buttermilk.

On the tongue – Biscuits, bread, baked apples... not at all horrible.

On the subject – Nestled into picturesque the hills of Cumbria, the Dent Brewery's idyllic setting literally finds its way into the beer.

On the market – A very useful list can be found here. Being in Cumbria helps!

On the whole – 7.5/10

Full Review

There's a lovely 'bake-house' feel to this beer.

It's possesses the kind of malty deliciousness which brings to mind warm shortbread biscuits and freshly baked farmhouse loaves.

All in all, for a beer marketed very much the spirit of an adventuring pioneer, there's something paradoxically even-keeled and comforting about it.

But then, perhaps they had this sense of paradox firmly in mind when they choose an aeroplane-flying sheep as their mascot. I certainly had no inclination to board a jet after a couple of sips of this very decent brew. In fact, after a short while, a trip to the nearest comfy chair was about all I was planning.

There's even a soothing undercurrent of apple pie to further add to this wondrously 'fireside' appeal. I was left feeling a certain inclination to begin befriending random strangers, and it was as though this was exactly what the beer had in mind. I do admire that quality in an ale, and it's an increasingly rare quality to find.

If all this talk of domesticity, warm breads and kinship sounds hopelessly romantic, well, I would say it's very much a case of the 'beer talking' in this particular case, and for what it's worth – it is absolutely speaking my language.

For those who like their beers well hopped, deeply malted, but with the added appeal of citrus infused biscuit – this could well be the ale for you.

For those who like kicking off their shoes, finding comfy chairs and getting social....well, it's right up your street, too.

Day 26, Beer 26 - Quilmes Cerveza's "Cristal"

Today's Beer

Name – Cristal

Brewer – Quilmes

Classification – Lager

Strength – 4.9% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Lager. I simply can't bring myself to expand further.

On the nose – Some sweet buttery notes. They had me all excited – before I knew better.

On the tongue – Not applicable. That's really all there is to it.

On the subject – The Quilmes brand is quite simply the giant of Argentinian beer.

On the market – Selected UK outlets. Got mine from the food hall at London's Selfridges.

On the whole – 4.5/10

Full Review

Water.

Otherwise known as H2O, it is a key ingredient of every beer on the planet.

Today's featured beer, however, is something of a remarkable exception to this universal rule.

This miraculous brew happens to be the only beer known to humanity to consist entirely of water alone.

At least, water was pretty much the only ingredient that I could detect.

This peculiar quirk in its nature probably also explains its enormous popularity worldwide – as there has always been great demand for beers which waste no time making appeals to the tongue, and which prefer instead to focus only on getting themselves quickly down the consumers proverbial necks.

As a South American drink, Argentinian to be precise, it is reasonable to assume that 'thirst quenching' is what this beer is called on to achieve most often. This is probably something that this beer is very good at.

It's really not terribly good at anything else.

The label is quite groovy.

That's about all I can think to add on the positive side.

In fact, having grown quickly immune to this drink experience, I took the liberty of offering a swig to my very open-minded girlfriend. She took a long sip, then paused for some considerable time before eventually saying – “It's almost like it never existed.”

There's just no way I could ever improve upon that.

Argentina – and even the Quilmes brewery itself – is producing some very excellent beers right now.

In my honest opinion, this really is not one of them.

Day 25, Beer 25 - RCH Brewery's "Pitchfork"

Today's Beer

Name – Pitchfork

Brewer – RCH

Classification – 'Rebellious' Bitter. (They really are not kidding.)

Strength – 4.3% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – A certain gaseous overzealousness caused what would have been a nice golden glow to cloud-up. That's a pity.

On the nose – A quite literal 'burst' of bold, brassy malts. There's little trace of those scheming, malevolent hops which lurk beneath.

On the tongue – Citrus, citrus, citrus! Oh, and did I mention citrus?

On the subject – Born in Burnham-On-Sea in the 'Royal Clarence Hotel', the brewery stole that venue's initials and went on to use them to award winning effect.

On the market – 'Select' UK stockists. Online retailers include Beer Paradise.

On the whole – 6/10

Full Review

With yesterday's beer being called 'Battle Axe', you would be forgiven for supposing that I was feeling a little punchy when I then decide to follow up on that beer with a brew named 'Pitchfork', especially in view of the latter beer's label - which features the silhouettes of people brandishing those very garden implements in a manner which doesn't exactly scream 'I love you'.

Well, it may be true that I'm in a slightly belligerent frame of mind. After all, I do usually like to compensate for all the nauseating benevolence which tends to infect the populous at this 'festive' time of year.

Having said that, no dark mood – however punchy – could ever have prepared me for this hotheaded drink experience.

From the minute I removed its cap, this feisty beer was in the very foulest temper that I've ever witnessed in an alcoholic beverage.

It billowed forth from the bottle like some foamy Krakatoa, and refused to be poured into my glass for a good ten minutes. I'd estimate that I consumed my first eighth of the drink in bubble form only.

The yeast within the jar had seemingly taken exception to a last minute cooling session I'd exposed it to (I'd sat it out on the doorstep for five minutes) - and World War Three was the result.

All in all, during its initial introduction to me, 'Pitchfork' behaved rather more like an 'H-Bomb.'

This initial show of impetuous rage did eventually come to an end, and some level of analysis was allowed to commence, but what came next left me in an even greater state of bewilderment.

This was mainly caused by the beer's taste.

Bad is not the word for it. The reason I know this is because the taste was not bad at all.

There's a better word than 'bad' to describe it... and I think that word might be 'mean'.

We're talking 'bad' as in 'bad ass.'

The dominant citrus flavour theme is so intense that I need to begin reaching for expressions like 'eye popping' and 'jaw dropping'. And I really have to say that this citrus 'hit' is so extreme that it runs the risk of crossing the implied line in terms of appropriate use of character defining ingredients.

A glance down at the label and a subsequent rummage through the illustrious award winning history of the beer made me begin to wonder if the yeast's reaction to the cold had literally altered the nature of the brew and transformed it beyond recognition.

Frankly, I'm inclined to let that possibility hold quite a bit of weight considering the extent to which the experience I had seems to differ from the experience of so many who've experienced it before.

That being said, I do also wonder if this beer did nothing more than capture the spirit of the time that it was released, causing drinkers of the moment to get caught up in the sense of how this beer in some way defined an era, or perhaps even challenged and shook up that era.

It's hard to know for sure what was going on when the many gongs were being showered on this brew.

The basic issue with it, because I feel I should be specific, is the hops.

Wow.

The hops.

I know there is a market for brews which make you shriek 'Holy God!' whenever you sip them, but the relentlessness of the citrus blast within the sample I tasted tonight – stomped right over the limit of what I consider a reasonable balance of taste, and it left me doubtful that this was a brew which I could ever again happily imbibe.

To be fair, this is not a beer which does things by halves, and that is a quality I always respect in a beer which sets out to challenge convention.

But it feels like the 'respect' which this beer is looking for is exactly the same kind of respect which the Mafia like to command. And that kind of beer really needs to catch me in the right frame of mind.

Maybe I need to try it again when my 'punchy' levels are right up at the max.

Because tonight, I really was no kind of match at all for the merciless Pitchfork.

In fact, this beer genuinely had me beat.

Day 24, Beer 24 - Rudgate's "Battle Axe"

Today's Beer

Name – Battle Axe

Brewer – Rudgate

Classification – Bitter

Strength – 4.8% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – That magical spot on the spectrum where gold finally yields to brown. Many of my absolute favourite ales occupy this spot.

On the nose – Subtle roasted nuts.

On the tongue – Lives up to the 'Bitter' on the label with a wonderfully liberal use of hops.

On the subject – Rudgate's of York have been quietly scooping awards since 1992. The clamour is growing louder by the year.

On the market – Beer Ritz supplied this one. Various stockists locally and increasingly beyond.

On the whole – 6.5/10

Full Review

If we're honest, we've all used these words before....

'Olicrosse!'

'Godamite!'

And, of course, the unforgettable 'Ut Ut Ut!!!'

Or, at least some of our distant ancestors might have used them.

For these are all war cries from Medieval times, designed to strike fear into the hearts of anyone daft enough to call themselves your enemy.

If they could only speak, I can imagine certain beer bottles which might use these menacing cries, to ward off anyone not up to the task of sinking a full pint of their mighty contents.

Rudgate Brewery's Battle Axe is a beer that certainly approaches you as though it were one of those beers... but having just spent a while with it – I'm just not so sure.

I reckon this beer is all bluff. I reckon the truth is that this beer is really just a friendly old chap who'd have you sat by the fire listening to his back catalogue of lyrical folk ballads for the best part of the night.

That, by the way, ain't necessarily a bad thing. Not one little bit.

Having said that, I wouldn't want to suggest that this is entirely non-aggressive experience. There is a instant hop-filled zing which might be classed as 'nicely hostile', followed by a lovely spread of roasted butternut squash which, at a stretch, could perhaps be regarded as 'militant'. But on the whole, this beer is far more likely to seek entry into your mouth via diligent use of the intercom, rather than storm the gates of your skull in the style of a marauding barbarian.

It's good stuff though, no question about it.

This is one of those beers which allows little or no time for contemplation before it has your hand reaching out for another slurp or two. This is always a good sign, if a little frustrating in terms of getting any sort of review written out.

I could have done with a touch more complexity, and I suspect Rudgate might be playing a little safe here in terms of the recipe, perhaps preferring to stick firmly to tradition than to leap on the ever growing bandwagon of 'funky' experimentation which seems to produce the only beers deemed worth talking about these days.

Wait a second.

Strike my previous reservations regarding this beers lack of complexity.

In fact, take those alleged reservations and wallop them with a large Battle Axe.

The honest, traditional simplicity of this beer is not a source of concern. On the contrary. In this age of science over sense, this beer should be nothing less than a cause for celebration.

For all the current fanfare surrounding innovation and experimentation, I think we may yet come to discover that young companies who choose to keep producing well loved brews in fine style – might well prove to be the one's who show us the real way forward.

Day 23, Beer 23 - Wold Top's "5 Wold Rings"

Today's Beer

Name – 5 Wold Rings

Brewer – Wold Top

Classification – 'Amber' festive beer.

Strength – 5% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – Another of those suspiciously sunshiny Xmas offerings...

On the nose – Spiced liquorice. Plenty of sawdust low notes.

On the tongue – Intense! Ho, Ho and thrice Ho!

On the subject – Just one of Wold Top's Christmas brews, they like drinkers of all tastes be happy at this time of year. And why not!

On the market – ASDA are among the supermarket's currently stocking (the nearer to Yorkshire the better it seems!), or try Beers And Sprits of Knaresborough. Plenty of other's these days due to growing demand.

On the whole – 7.5

Full Review

This beer tastes far darker than it looks, if you take my meaning.

It has that oak soaked bite of a much darker malt, and it kicks like a much darker mule.

The fact is though, this is another of those bewilderingly light looking Christmas beers. I'm beginning to spot a trend, and I have to say it's a trend which leaves me vaguely bemused.

Having said that, leaving people vaguely bemused is what Christmas does best, so why should I be surprised!

Leaving the anti-festive visuals aside, this beer has firm malts, robust hops and a citrus twang in the finish which, if you're not careful, will happily draw your attention away from a complementary trace of honey flapjack.

It really is a fine little brew, but I can't keep myself distracted from the issue of its appearance. In common with last night's seasonal offering Oldershaw's 'Hollydaze' there is a suspiciously summertime radiance to the drink, though it is perhaps possessive of a slightly more late-summer character than the Oldershaw. But it's a summertime feel all the same.

On balance though, this beer does have more of a sense of that extra spice-infused zing which seems to help identify most of the Christmas ale options these days. That said, I'm still rather on the fence on the subject of festive spice. Surely there are other ways of encapsulating the merriment of the moment, spice can't surely be the only taste sensation which says 'peace on earth and goodwill', can it?

At least this beer uses such spice with a skilled subtlety, which I did appreciate.

Given the date and the current weather conditions (it is currently unseasonably 'seasonal' here in the UK) it's probably a little too late for most of you to get some of this stuff onto your shelves.

But for those lucky enough to have a nearby Wold Top stockist – you might want to get those knee high boots back on again...

This festive tipple is definitely worth an extra trudge through the snow.

Day 22, Beer 22 - Oldershaw's "Hollydaze"

Today's Beer

Name – Hollydaze

Brewer – Oldershaw

Classification – Pale Seasonal Ale

Strength – 4.1% ABV

Verdict - At A Glance

On the eye – A head scratch-inducing (though perfectly gorgeous) bright sunshine glow.

On the nose – All freshness and youthful vitality. Just like me. A while ago.

On the tongue – Hop-tastic! With the faintest of biscuit treats on the finish. Clever.

On the subject – Responding to punters who were looking for a lower strength Christmas alternative to their very popular 'Yuletide' – those fine Oldershaw brains went straight to work. And how!

On the market – On tap at their growing number of pub outlets, but there might yet be time for a delivery – you could always drop them a line!

On the whole – 7/10

Full Review

This wittily labelled brew might well have been named 'Hoppy-daze'.

'Generously trippled-hopped' is the claim they make, and even the tiniest of slurps leaves you in no doubt whatsoever about that claim.

That same tiny slurp will leave you feeling pretty perky too. It really is a jolly old brew, with enough lively spirit to bring some serious cheer to even the most Scrooge-like soul.

This being said, I'm quite sure I'd like to be getting my hands on some of this spirited merriment at some point somewhat closer to summertime, rather than here in the gloomy depths of winter.

After a few (very welcome) sips, I happened to cast a casual glance outside at the extensively frost bound lawn, and felt for a moment like I'd been time-warped from the middle of August, such is this ale's energising vibrancy and thirst quenching appeal.

Don't misunderstand, at this festive time of year this is a beer more than capable of imparting some top drawer good cheer – it really is quite lovely – but it's the kind of good cheer I'd usually associate with a very different 'season' to the one which its marketing is inevitably restricting it to.

So, to the folks at Oldershaw I'd say this... 

Might there be any chance of a sneaky bit of re-branding? Because I reckon I could happily see myself through the Hollydaze with copious amounts of this easy drinking delight.

The summer Hollydaze, that is.